I have sent the following letter to Bank of America investor relations. It's getting nuts out there. Stand in solidarity with the peons you encounter!!! Take back your life!!! Get in a fight with a stranger and lose. Oh wait...
To Whom It May Concern,
As a longtime customer and as someone who has worked in customer service, I must object to the standard greeting of "I'd be delighted to help you" at the bank. It is patronizing to the customer and is degrading to the worker. To mandate an implied emotion is dehumanizing to the individual. Kudos to the tellers whom I have encountered, who have never once betrayed a hint of sarcasm in their delivery of the ridiculous line nor their corporate overlords with it. Have you ever considered that he or she may not, in fact, be delighted to help me?!? And guess what? That's fine by me. I prefer perfunctory and polite service, I don't need someone to lick my boots when I just want to cash a check. If I were looking for someone to lick my boots, I'd ask my teller out on a date.
It is my suggestion that this be replaced with a simple, "How may I help you?" Or possibly even anything at all that the worker deems reasonable. These are people, not machines. You are doing your customers and yourselves a great disservice by tightening the noose of obedience on these poor people.